So, now that I’m a member of the corporate world, I’ve recently discovered and wondered about certain types of etiquette in the work place…

and by certain types of etiquette, I really only mean one:

Bathroom etiquette.

Why do I think about these things? I don’t know. I just do. I mean, there are all sorts of “rules” one has to think about when using a large bathroom full of stalls in the work place. Here I go:

-Do you have a favorite stall? Or maybe, a favorite stall depending on what type of business you have to attend to?

-Therefore, what is proper etiquette? If you have to pee, which stall? One towards the front? A safe one right in the middle? If you have to poop, is it better to take one towards the end? Or is that a sure-fire sign that you are indeed, dropping a deuce at work?

-If someone is in your stall, what do you do? Do you have a back up? and is there a “one over” rule?

-How are far away from the stalls and bathroom itself is acceptable to chat with people you may run into near the bathroom? What’s the norm for how long you talk to someone outside the bathroom? How do you get away from this idle chit-chat without being rude?

-Does everyone have a backup bathroom?

-WHAT IF SOMEONE IS IN YOUR BACKUP BATHROOM AND THERE IS ONLY ONE STALL?! Or worse, TWO stalls so the other person can hear your everything and  reason you needed to come to your backup bathroom in the first place?

-Do you have a backup backup bathroom?

-WHAT IF YOU KNOW THE PERSON IN YOU BACKUP BATHROOM?

…

If anyone has some insight or their opinions on work place bathroom etiquette, I’d be genuinely interested in knowing.

More importantly, I’d just like confirmation and reassurance that I am not the only person on the planet that thinks about things like this.