everything all at once...

There. I said it. Of course there are good days. Good days, like Tuesday of this week, when I played music for my kids and they loved it. Music is a good exercise in listening and oral comprehension. I played “If I Had a Million Dollars,” by the Barenaked Ladies. This particular song also works on the conditional (“If…then…”). They liked the song, and afterwards we played “music quiz” which they also enjoyed. So much so, that I literally had to kick them out of my class.

“You’re going to be late for your next class! You have to leave!”

“We don’t care! We want to stayyyyy!”

“Well, your next teacher will care! See ya!”

And then there are the bad days that no one warned me about. Not bad as in, my kids were bratty monsters, but bad because my kids just weren’t pickin’ up what I was puttin’ down. I joke, but seriously.

In case I haven’t told you, I spend a lot of my time preparing kids in their final year for the English portion of the Bac—the exam they have to pass at the end of the year. I show them an image (usually a political cartoon, or advertisement of some sort). They have to first, describe it, then analyze it, then give me their personal opinion of the image. So on Wednesday I have two courses with kids that just aren’t as strong in English as some of my others. After managing to construct a few simple sentences to describe the image, their voices trail off and the room becomes silent. This is my cue to help them; I prompt them with something so they can hopefully go, “Ah!” and it will magically click and they will give me a ten minute thesis on why an image showing a girl on a bike in the middle of traffic is bad. I know these kids are smart and full of opinions. And sometimes, that magic moment of clarity happens, but more often, it does not. They stare blankly back at me, my words meaningless noise. Some revert back to French as they try to explain. Embarrassed half-smiles spread across their face and they shrug, or continue staring at the page, or admit, “I don’t understand.”

My frustration grows as I try to find different ways to explain the image. Not frustration with them, frustration with myself. I want them to understand. I want them to know that I’m on their team, because I’ve been there. I know how hard it is to learn another language. Nothing questions your ability to teach like teaching itself.  Especially when teaching a language. Let’s be honest, knowing a minimal amount of math, biology and other basic subjects are enough to get by, unless your work is specific to that field. But language? Language is communication. Language is teaching someone how to express themselves in an understandable, universal way.

Teaching can, and has been fun, as well as rewarding. But it is also hard. No one warns you that some days you might feel like a failure at your job. And you know what? That’s okay. Because it makes me want to be better. I have never been so humbled. True, some kids don’t care that they don’t get it. But some do. And for them, I’ll keep trying.